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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27141575">The importance of words</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielsCarma/pseuds/CastielsCarma'>CastielsCarma</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kinktober 2020 [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Communication, Exhibitionism, Kinktober, Kinktover 2020, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Voyeurism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:13:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,634</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27141575</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielsCarma/pseuds/CastielsCarma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean catches Cas jerking off which leads to awkward avoidance until Cas invites him to a movie night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kinktober 2020 [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949407</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The importance of words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my prompt for day 21 of Kinktober: Size difference, impact play, or <b>exhibitionism/voyeurism</b>.</p><p>This kind of went in an unexpected way but I don't have time to make it go back to where I originally planned it so it stays.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>It starts out by accident.</p><p> </p><p>Sam is out with Eileen – dinner, movies – the whole shebang.</p><p> </p><p>Dean treats himself and Cas with homemade burgers, crisp hot fries and a killer BBQ sauce.</p><p> </p><p>After watching a movie, Dean decides enough is enough. He likes Cas' company – sometimes he even pretends that their casual talks and looks are an indication of more – but he's tired.</p><p> </p><p>“Cas, you pick a movie next time. I'm calling it a night. I'm falling asleep on the couch like a grumpy old dude.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas nods. “Sounds like a plan. You already <em>wake up </em>like a grumpy old bear, so at least we can make night time relaxing for all of us.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean glares. “I'm not fucking grumpy.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas' lips pull into a smile and Dean forgets his next thought. Seeing Cas like this is one of his favorite things.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course not. Sleep well, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>“Night, Cas.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean drops down into bed sometime later and sleep is almost instantaneous.</p><p> </p><p>He stirs a few hours later; his bladder urging him to go. Dean blinks sleepily and shuffles down the corridor. At night time, the Bunker is cold but Dean has his pajama pants on and a black, worn T-shirt. Pissing done, Dean is ready to visit the land of slumber again when he hears the muted sounds of the TV in the gaming room.</p><p> </p><p>Dean stops.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't check the time but he feels in his bones that it's too fucking early for him to even pretend to be a functioning human being. In other words, it's the perfect time for Sam to go for a run, grow sprouts, or whatever it is he does besides sleeping, like a normal person.</p><p> </p><p>But Sam is not home. And no matter how far fetched the notion seems, it means it has to be Cas.</p><p> </p><p>Dean walks on silent feet to the gaming room and grins. He is right. There's a flickering light that comes through the crack of the door and muted voices. Cas is watching TV which shouldn't be strange, he sleeps only occasionally and he has to do something besides the laundry or the dishes during the nights.</p><p> </p><p>Dean stares right at Cas' profile. He allows himself a few seconds to take in his features; those full lips, that sexy disheveled hair. If he could, he'd stare at Cas all day but Sam lives in the Bunker too, so Dean stealthy eyefucks Cas instead.</p><p><br/>
“Oh, fuck,” Cas moans.</p><p> </p><p>Dean freezes on the spot.</p><p> </p><p>That is Cas, alright. And if Dean isn't mistaken – and by the speed of which his cock goes from soft and sleepy to hard and horny in two seconds flat – Cas is touching his dick.</p><p> </p><p>He's <em>masturbating.</em></p><p> </p><p>Dean's pulse is in his ears and now he can hear it, the sound of slick skin as if someone is rubbing one off. Holy hell.</p><p> </p><p>Dean backs away hurriedly and fucking <em>runs </em>– quietly because he's not stupid – towards his room. He's not going to make it. He turns left and stops as he feels the onslaught of arousal concentrate into a singular point, wave, crash, whatever, all he knows is that he's gonna collapse.</p><p> </p><p>He can <em>hear </em>Cas' moans in his mind, the way his strong hand runs over his head that has to be wet with precome. Dean grinds his teeth to stop his own moans from escaping. He comes in his pants – and soaks through his underwear.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For days – several times a day – Dean masturbates like a fucking obsessed. Every time he even <em>thinks </em>about Cas stroking his dick, thinks about that raspy “Oh, fuck” he has to come up with a lame- ass excuse to go to the bathroom or his room and furiously jerk off. He thought he'd be running out of little swimmers but Dean is like the energizer bunny and he just keeps on coming.</p><p> </p><p>And yes, Dean sneaks up every night to see if Cas is in the TV-room, jerking off in secret, but each visit yields nothing. Dean dismisses it as a one-off and sad as he is, he's gonna save that one for his jerk-off fantasies for years.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Two weeks later, coincidentally when Sam is at Eileen's again, Dean wakes up around three. He grabs his glass of water on the nightstand and takes a mouthful of water. He cheeks his phone out of pure habit, swiping a thumb over the screen. 3.17.</p><p> </p><p>Dean finds himself outside the TV-room again but he can't hear anything. He notices that the door is open though, which is odd. Usually, Dean closes the door. It's his Dean-cave and when he's not using it, he leaves things in order. Snacks are to be restocked, the beer-fridge refilled, movies put away alphabetically.</p><p> </p><p>The open door means something.</p><p> </p><p>Dean sneaks on silent feet close to the door and looks through the crack. It's wider, and he knows this because he can see not only Cas' face and body but some of the couch and the back wall.</p><p> </p><p>If he isn't mistaken the couch has been <em>moved, </em>not enough that it's glaringly obvious but enough that Dean <em>knows </em>about it.</p><p> </p><p>His mouth is dry and he feels like a peeping Tom but his body responds like he's a goddamn Pavlovian dog. His dick hardens instantly and Dean is on edge, waiting and straining to hear <em>something</em>.</p><p> </p><p>There it is.</p><p> </p><p>Cas' exhales harshly and Dean can hear the tinkle of the belt as Cas unbuckles it. He moves around and then; that's that sound that's been driving Dean crazy for weeks. A soft, rhythmic beat and Cas groans. It's a low moan but full of passion, want and <em>need.</em></p><p> </p><p>Cas' voice is lightning, sparking a fire in Dean's groin. He's so far gone, that he tosses all ideas of precautions aside. He shoves a hand inside his boxers and grabs his achingly, hard cock. Dean swipes a thumb over his head but it's too much. It's like he's is in a live porno but the best kind because Cas is in it.</p><p> </p><p>Cas' breathing comes quicker now and he's fucking moving his hips up and down, fucking his own fist and Dean sees that strong hand wrap around something and then a brief glimpse of Cas' cock.</p><p> </p><p>Dean comes with a harsh grunt and spills on the wall. He opens his eyes, momentarily lost in ecstasy and looks straight into Cas' eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Cas holds his gaze.</p><p> </p><p>He realizes that Cas is still jerking off, almost like he can't stop. He doesn't know if Cas' cheeks are red with shame, or if his eyes are wide with lust. All he knows is that Cas rubs his cock, eyes transfixed on Dean as he spills all over his fist.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything is normal after that. As normal as it can be with Dean trying to pretend that he hasn't seen Cas jerk off and that he didn't come like a madman when he realized that Cas had discovered him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean doesn't try and look for Cas in the TV room for two weeks after that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Cas comes to him when he's in the kitchen making a P&amp;B jelly sandwich. “Sam and Eileen are having a SPA weekend tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean drops the knife on the counter, his throat suddenly dry. He looks at Cas, who looks back at him impassively. “Alright... good for them?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” Cas licks his lips. “I've been thinking. How about a movie night? Tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, sure. I don't know any of the new premiers, haven't been paying much attention to be honest but I trust you. Pick something... Wait. As long as it isn't one of those nature documentaries, Cas. No one watches those at the fucking movies.”<br/>
<br/>
“We did.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean mutters under his breath. “Yeah, we and nobody else.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was thinking we could watch a movie in the TV-room.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean's cock twitches and he has to look away and cough to hide the groan. Fucking hell. “Um, the TV-room. The Dean Cave...”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I was thinking”, Cas licks his lips, “it's been a while.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean blinks. He is pretty sure they're not talking about movies. <em>Are </em>they talking about movies? “Yeah, it has. I mean, sure. You pick a movie, I'll follow your lead.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas narrows his eyes. “We should decide what time to be there. Just like when we go to the real movies.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean's heart thunders in his chest and he has difficulty focusing on Cas' actual words. “Good idea. How about nine? We should be done with dinner then.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nine is fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can bring snacks.” Dean wants to smack himself. Bring snacks. Sure, that's what you do when you watch the real movies but Dean and Cas are not going to watch any actual movies. He thinks.</p><p> </p><p>“Snacks is fine. I like the edamame beans.”</p><p> </p><p>That's no fucking snacks for a movie – might turn into masturbation night – but Dean keeps his mouth shut. He just nods. “Cool.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great.”</p><p> </p><p>“It's decided then.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas turns to leave but stops in the doorway. “One more question, Dean. I need to know the appropriate dress code.”</p><p> </p><p>Dress code? They've never talked about dress codes. Dean takes a bite of his sandwich when it hits him. Oh, <em>dress codes. </em>And just like that, his pulse accelerates faster than the Road Runner. “Yeah, right.</p><p>Ca-casual dress code? Very casual...?”</p><p> </p><p>Cas nods and flashes Dean a smile. “Very casual it is.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean goes to the Deli and buys Sam one of those fancy salads with sun-dried tomatoes, bird food, three kinds of colored leaves and the extra tasty cheese. He even adds in some croutons. “Here, Sammy. I already made you lunch. You can eat it on the road. It's a long drive to Eileen's”</p><p> </p><p>Sam cocks an eyebrow. “Actually, it's not that long of a drive and I already arranged with – “</p><p> </p><p>Dean shoves the salad in Sam's arms. “You take your salad and go have fun. The earlier the better.”<br/>
<br/>
“I haven't even packed...”</p><p> </p><p>Dean stands outside Sam's door as he packs. His arms are crossed. He's the poster boy of being calm. He knocks three times. “Alright, it's been fifteen minutes. Let's go!”</p><p> </p><p>Sam comes out, suitcase in hand and a frown on his face. “You're... very eager to send me away.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean sputters. “Pff, no! No. I'm just really happy that Eileen gets to see that ugly mug of yours. And it's a spa. Mud, bath towels, massages and all-you-can-eat-buffets. You kids have fun.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam makes a face. “I don't think they have all-you-can-eat-buffets at the spa.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean shoves Sam towards the garage. “Sure they do, it's a spa.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean and Cas have dinner. Everything is perfectly normal.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean looks at his sweatpants and T-shirt in the mirror. This is casual. Maybe it's <em>too</em> casual.</p><p> </p><p>He's never seen Cas in sweatpants before. He's not sure Cas even <em>owns</em> a pair of sweatpants. Dean sighs and wipes the sweat off on his pants. He grabs the bowl of edamame-beans and heads towards the TV-room.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Cas is already there, sitting at the same spot he did when... he sat there last time. Dean can't think about that, not right now, or he'll spontaneously combust. He clears his throat. “Hey, Cas. Brought you the beans.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas smiles. “Thank you, I really like them. They're rich in vitamin K and antioxidants. And they improve the cholesterol level too. Have some.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean grabs a bean and chews on it. It takes like plastic. “Mm, they're rich. Feels like I'm chewing on pla – “</p><p> </p><p>Cas looks at him, a disapproving look on his face.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't need lectures about his cholesterol. Not now.</p><p> </p><p>“– on plant based snacks. Mm.” Dean sits down next to Cas. He's careful not to sit too close because he wants to give a confident impression, but he doesn't wanna sit too far away. Maybe Cas will think he doesn't want this.</p><p> </p><p>Cas is wearing sweatpants.</p><p> </p><p>It doesn't have to mean anything.</p><p> </p><p>“So, what movie do you have in mind?”</p><p> </p><p>Cas clears his throat. “I have to confess, it was very difficult to decide on a movie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, there's lot of movies to choose from.” Dean glances at the TV screen. It's still off. “The TV is off. You do want me to – “</p><p> </p><p>Cas interrupts him. “Thank you for dinner.”</p><p> </p><p>“No problem, Cas.” Dean waits for something, a move or signal from Cas. Let the wanking begin. Maybe he's supposed to grab the remote or something.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you know that the drone bee dies after having sex with the queen?”<br/>
<br/>
Dean looks at Cas. “No, I didn't know that. Impressive. Fucked to death... What a way to go.” He really hopes this isn't Cas easing him into watching another nature documentary.<br/>
<br/>
“Do you know that I'm a Seraph?” Cas smiles. “Or was.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean nods. “I remember you mentioned that, yes.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas eases down on the couch and looks at Dean. He spreads his legs casually. “Some use the word Seraphim instead. Do you know what that means?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean's eyes flit down to Cas' hands as they casually rest near his groin. He shakes his head, his throat suddenly dry. “No...” He's forgetting the English language, let alone Latin.</p><p> </p><p>“Those who kindle or make hot.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean wants to say something to that, but his throat is suddenly dry. He coughs and tries to project an air of not combusting right on the spot. “I've never... I didn't know.” Heat coils in his stomach and his cock is hard as a rock. It curves upward and Dean is sure Cas notices how it tents in his pants.</p><p> </p><p>“Did I make you hot? Did I make you hot when you watched me?” Cas slips his hand inside his pants and Dean notices the small movements he's making</p><p> </p><p>Dean scrambles to say something but his cock screams at him. Finally, he thinks fuck it. He shoves his hand inside his pants and sighs deeply as he wraps his hand around his hard member. “Yeah,” he whispers. He can't believe this is happening.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel nods and pushes up his hips so he can pull down his pants and boxes. His cock juts out proudly as he casually wraps his hand around it and starts stroking slowly. “Names are important. They hold power. I always wondered if that's true about other things with names. Animals and insects that we name. Creatures that we in that case hold power over.” Cas' moves his hand slowly, stroking his cock with purpose.</p><p> </p><p>Dean has never been more turned on in his life. Cas is sitting a mere three feet away from him and he can't stay away any longer. Dean pulls down his pants and is almost embarrassed over how his cock curves. There's already a single bead of precome on the tip. Dean strokes his cock slowly, more focused on how Cas' hand jerks himself, than his own hand.</p><p> </p><p>He imagines that Cas' hand strokes his own cock, and he closes his eyes and leans back on the couch.<br/>
<br/>
“You know what's intimately connected with names?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean's eyes flash open. The way Cas says intimately has Dean exhaling sharply.</p><p> </p><p>Cas looks at him with a disapproving frown. “I think maybe we should stop talking about names. You don't sound well. Your breathing seems erratic.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean arches his brow in confusion. “I'm totally good.”</p><p> </p><p>“You forcefully expressed air from your lungs. There seems to be a problem.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean realizes then that Cas has just been talking along this whole time, stroking and teasing, and not given away one clue of the want, the <em>desire</em> he knows that Cas has. He whispered Dean's name while stroking his cock two weeks ago, so Dean <em>knows. </em></p><p> </p><p>It's a game. But it's one Dean fears he about to lose before it even begins.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“No, no problem,” He keeps stroking his cock. Dean goes with his gut feeling. “And if my breathing becomes erratic, what then?”<br/>
<br/>
Cas shrugs. “I've heard the issue can be resolved by something hard and fat being shoved down the throat, inducing a stronger... more erratic breathing.”</p><p> </p><p>Was Cas talking about... Cas on his knees sucking Dean's cock invades his mind and he grinds his teeth as not to make a sound. Dean breathes out even, measured breaths through his nose but his thrusting hips don't lie. “Oh, well. I'm totally fine, Cas.” He was not fine at all.</p><p> </p><p>Cas looks at him, his eyes piercing and Dean's stomach swoops. “Are you?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean looks down at Cas as he slowly strokes his cock. “Yeah, we were talking about” – holy fuck, what were they talking about – He tries to remember and curses when it escapes him Like this is a totally normal conversation to have. “Things, we talked about things and stuff.”</p><p> </p><p>“I would say erratic thoughts are connected to the same symptoms as erratic breathing. It's a cure-all treatment.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean licks his dry lips. “Names, we were talking about names.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas slows down and moves his hand sinfully slow up and down his length. Precum covers his head and Dean would give anything to suck that off of Cas but he also wants to win dammit.</p><p> </p><p>“I will know if you cheat, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>The command in Cas' voice, the assertion, has heat flush over Dean's entire body. Holy fuck. He forces out the words as he quickens his strokes on his cock. “Don't worry bout cheating, Cas. I'll win over you fair and square.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas matches Dean's speed and rhythm and it's like Cas is jerking off both Dean and himself. “So what is the answer? What connected with names?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean licks his lips and speaks slowly. His cock twitches in his hand, as if to remind him that all focus should be on his aching member, not on the very mundane task of forming words.</p><p> </p><p>Dean squeezes his cock. “I'd say words are – connected to names, to the – power of names.” He tries to filter out the slapping sound of skin against skin as Cas jerks off faster now but he can't tear his eyes away from the scene.<br/>
<br/>
His heart beats faster, a dull drum in his mind but at least he isn't panting.<br/>
<br/>
“Was that a stutter?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean scoffs. “Noo. I was just breathing evenly... in an uneven pattern.”<br/>
<br/>
“If you don't get your words right, then what is the point?”<br/>
<br/>
Dean has already lost the point of this conversation. All he remembers is that he can't moan and Cas is jerking off, that Dean is mad with lust and that blowjobs are good. And that he can't loose. Which means no blowjob. Why would he not want a blowjob? Yeah, he wants to win.</p><p> </p><p>But the thought of Cas just casually talking along while stroking his own hard cook and that Dean can't say anything or show his own pleasure, somehow makes him even hornier. What the hell?<br/>
<br/>
“I don't know what the point is,” Dean whispers as sweat breaks out on his back. He tries not to move his hips and slows down his strokes but his arousal is like an itch right beneath his skin. He wants to crack himself open, and dig deep and stoke his own lust until he spills all over the floor. Fuck, that is not helping with the not moaning part.</p><p> </p><p>Dean lets out a deep sigh and Cas tuts.</p><p> </p><p>“No, that was, fuck, it wasn't – “ Dean's eyes are glued to Cas' cock.<br/>
<br/>
Pre-come leave a shiny trail on his head and Cas smears it down the thick length of him. “Since the first time I saw you, Dean, you stabbed your way into my heart. And it was a stab, sudden and painful and with the profound clarity that you would once be the death of me, the death of the angel that I was. Because I had already taken the first step towards humanity, you just shoved me the rest of the way.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas thumb plays with the head and presses on the slit as he bucks his hips up in apparent need and lust. Dean thinks now – now that Cas opens his mouth, he's gonna moan but Cas keeps talking with that infuriating even voice – that is somehow hot too, because it shows how <em>in control </em>he is.<br/>
<br/>
“You showed me, with your fierce spirit, huge heart, your tenacity and grit and stubborn desire to always believe in the good of man. You showed me that I was right in believing in humans, and putting my faith in them. Putting my faith in you.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean breathes out slowly and his cock aches, and his balls contract and he's so close and he says fuck it. The sound of Cas' voice, skin against hot skin as he jerks himself off is too much and then Cas speaks. “I don't get words wrong” and he looks at Dean and says, “I love you, I've always loved you,” and <em>something constricts </em> and he gasps as he comes and he knows that <em>words matter</em> and he realizes that it's not Cas, no not Cas that is gasping but he is, he's coming.</p><p> </p><p>He looks at Cas in awe, what the fuck is happening? – <em>Cas loves him</em> – and then closes his eyes as the orgasm punches through him. He spills come on the floor</p><p> </p><p>Dean comes down from that high, stunned and he gets down on his knees and takes Cas' hand.</p><p> </p><p>His brows knit in confusion, he's hope and awe and he stutters out those words, whispers them – “Is this real?”</p><p> </p><p>Cas answers. “Yes, we are real.”<br/>
<br/>
Words matter. Names are important.</p><p> </p><p>Dean's eyes slide down to the floor but things matter, so he settles his gaze on Cas, the blue eyes that have haunted him for over a decade and he whispers those words finally to the one that matters the most. “I love you, Cas, I love you too.”</p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p>
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